When you’re young, and routinely abused and betrayed by those appointed to care for you, it’s easy to grow up always looking for the good in people, even when it’s not there. This is the only way to sanely survive without permanently damaging your soul and believing you are not worthy of proper care. The beautiful thing about growing up is that it’s perfectly OK to let those people go, and perfectly OK to never let any of them return.
“…You are quiet like the night, and like the night you’re star-lit.
Your silences are star-like; they’re a distant and a simple thing.
I like it when you’re quiet. It’s as if you weren’t here now.
As if you were dead now, and sorrowful, and distant.
A word then is sufficient then, or a smile, to make me happy,
Happy that it seems
so certain that you’re present….”
when God created love he didn’t help most
when God created dogs He didn’t help dogs
when God created plants that was average
when God created hate we had a standard utility
when God created me He created me
when God created the monkey He was asleep
when He created the giraffe He was drunk
when He created narcotics He was high
and when He created suicide He was low
when He created you lying in bed
He knew what He was doing
He was drunk and He was high
and He created the mountains and the sea and fire at the same time
He made some mistakes
but when He created you lying in bed
He came all over His Blessed Universe.
― Charles Bukowski